My puritanical little soul has been shocked. WOWWZER Whatthefuck? I was able to buy this at an airport? When did Penthouse go triple-X? Are all porno mags like that nowadays? I mean, jeez! I opened up to a photo shoot of two women decked out in red and yellow leather Harley-bitch teddies sticking color-coordinated leather dildo’s into each other with some biker guy shoving his prick down their throats! It even had 3D pics that require those special glasses! Then there is the black-and-white spread of two lesbians taking turns with a strap-on, or the other 2 or 3 layouts with close-up cum-shots and nothing left to the imagination… I’ll just pull it out of my backpack, open it up and… Same plan, I just have to clean the sheets, not housekeeping personnel. What to do? Oh yeah, I bought a Penthouse. But the wife was out of town for a business trip herself, so I’ve got 3 days to myself. Well, the plane wasn’t full, so I made it back home. I might be here doing nothing else but reading for the next day, might as well masturbate. No, Penthouse is the midpoint between Playboy and a hardcore mag- right? A little teasing, a little lesbian kissing, but nothing too graphic, and, um, shoved down your throat…OK, I’ll get it. That nicely naughty little porno mag that has those great letters, funny cartoons, and women who aren’t afraid to act a little sleazy for the camera- but not too much. Penthouse! I haven’t seen a Penthouse for over 10 years I bet. Newsweek has an article on the future of tech jobs- cool, it’s mine. Time has an article on Yoga- cool, I’ll get it. I’m alone, I haven’t seen my wife in 2 weeks, I’m just going to be sitting in a hotel room waiting for 24 hours…Hmmm…Let’s go to the bookstore. Lufthansa just informed me that I might be asked to take the next day’s flight, but they would give me a $800 certificate, hotel, food, and a phone credit. So I’m at Atlanta airport waiting to fly back across the puddle to home.
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